Managing Personal Expectations

20 Jan 2019 at 14:21 // under Personal

Last week we rearranged the bedrooms in our house.

As I explained the changes to a friend, I mentioned that we no longer has a guest room and if anyone did want to stay, they would have to use the futon in the living room. I then remembered that this friend has does have a guest room, along with a bedroom for each kid and a separate study. Their house is much bigger than ours and I felt a bit ashamed or embarrassed at this.

After thinking about it some more, this is a completely silly thing to be bothered by. When I was growing up, neither of the houses I lived in had a spare room for guests¹. Thinking of friends houses growing up and again most didn't have a spare room. Those that did either didn't have kids or lived out in the country and either built their own houses or extended them. So why do I feel bad about not having one?

It is not as if most of my friends have large houses. Why do I feel that if one of my friends has this large house, I should also have one?

Sure this house is not as big as my friend's house, nor is it as big as my parent's house. But then neither did either of them when they were my age. And neither do most people my age.

This house is big enough. Sure, if it is bigger, we would fill it, but we don't need it to be bigger. We can live happily in this house as it is.

I just need to manage my own desires and expectations.

1. well thinking about it further, the first house did end up with a spare room after the extension was built, but then we moved house and didn't have one in the new one ↩

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